Yes, chemicals DO collide.

I haven't updated this blog for uhm... Yea, I don't even know how long...
But here, today's been a bad bad day for me, I wanna cry, but at the same time, I'm too shy to show how I feel, I wanna tell him that he's the only one who could make me happy at this time when I'm having some problems with my Skitch, but then, I decided not to do it, and now, he's fuckin' wondering what is that something I wanna tell him about.

Sadao's been so nice to me, we've been texting for a few days so far, he's pretty sweet. He knows that I like him (After my friends encouraged him to sit next to me so that we could have a picture together, and that happened TWICE. December 8 and 18. Oh fuck.)
He even asked me why I'm uhm, pretty shy when he's just there standing in front of me, and what did I tell him? A lie. I lied. I told him it's because of my sister, but nah, it's not even close to that, it's because I always think that I'll NEVER EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM.
Then, today, while I was out in the mall to hang out, I got to talk to him again, rather get to text him again, I lied about what I wanna tell him, I don't even know why I did that stupid thing.

Ok, I know you'll probably never get to read this, but whatever, here's what I wanna tell you.
'You know what, you're awesome. You're sweet and you got a sense of humor, that's why I like you. Everytime you beep my phone up, I'll take an Unlimited Text subscription, that's how much I love you, yes, LOVE. I know, that's a strong word, and I'm proud of using that of what I feel about you. But hey, I'm not assuming that you'll someday ask me out, I don't even think that's possible, but here's the thing, the fact that you're texting me everytime you have the unlimited text subscription is enough to make me fuckin' contented, I'm not waiting for you to ask me out (Though I'll still freak out if you'll do that), for short, I'm not asking you to give me something in return, I'm not asking you to give me something equal with what I give to you, Oh fuck that's deep.

And just a note, this is my first fuckin' time to have a sweet convo with someone I like, or love.



MICHAELO ANGELO SADAO SUGAWARA <3>